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#1 HGL

Posted 27 May 2014 - 05:14 PM

So prior to being coupled up, I was single for a number of years. Cue lots of funny stories for dinner parties for years to come. Some funny, some bizarre and some WTF.

I'm sure fellow EBs have their own to share for a giggle.

*****

Meet a guy, exchange numbers. He rings and asks me out for dinner and names a restaurant. Me "sure, I like Indian, sounds great" (really thinking, he must really like Indian, not exactly a safe 1st date choice).

Get to restaurant, he looks at menu and says "oh, I'd don't like spicy food". Seriously, who doesn't at least cursory research the restaurant beforehand.

But it got worst. I offered and he let me pay half the bill. He drops me home. 20 minutes later I get an angry SMS asking why I didn't invite him in for sex?!? Hmmm, well I think you've answered your own question. Asking a woman to dinner doesn't entitle you to an invite into her house and certainly not to sex, even if you'd paid for dinner. Prat.

****

Set up with a friend of a friend on a blind date. He picks me up (I really should have agreed to meet him somewhere but I figure my friend wouldn't set me up with a psychopath.) He suggests we go to the beach to talk - in July, at 9 o'clock at night! Ummm, no. So we wind up going through a Maccas drive thru because he doesn't like coffee and doesn't want to go to a cafe. I pay for my own sundae and one for him. But it turns up he wasn't a totally cheapskate, he's brought along a half eaten box of chocolates LOL! Needsless to say I didn't agree to a second date when he asked.

#2 Baroness Bubbles

Posted 27 May 2014 - 05:59 PM

Dont really have my own, but these are good



#3 The 8th Plum

Posted 27 May 2014 - 06:09 PM

Had met guy a few times previously. Met at pub for date. He told me off for not knowing the name of the band that were playing, 'borrowed' my $100 note to buy drinks (eftpos was down, but he didn't give me my change - he stayed at the bar, got smashed, and then kissed another woman. Then he suggested that I wanted anal sex with him. It was hypnotically fascinating in its awfulness.


I have had other bad dates, but that one was the worst of my life. It was almost too bad to leave.

#4 Goat_Girl

Posted 27 May 2014 - 06:14 PM

The one where I went to the bathroom and when I came back the date was going through my phone, reading my my messages and turned into an obsessive stalker person when I told him not to contact me ever again.

The one where we went to a lovely little tapas bar and he wouldn't eat anything, because he preferred 'simple' foods and even the chorizo was just too overwhelming for his weak palate.

The one where my date was clearly still in love with a girl I knew from high school from 10 years ago and was only dating me because he hoped I was still mates with her and could reintroduce him to her, as she wasn't on Facebook or easily contactable.

The one where the guy made no effort to make conversation, grunted yes/no answers and made it clear he hated the bar I picked. 20 mins into the date I went to the bathroom and cried, because I couldn't politely leave for at least another hour, so some random sweet girls in the toilet befriended me and pretended we knew each other already, so I could go hang with their group and take the focus of it being a one-on-one date.

Edited by Goat_Girl, 27 May 2014 - 06:15 PM.


#5 KnightsofNi

Posted 27 May 2014 - 06:21 PM

I have never dated (I was too young to really date when I got together with XH). I have just decided that I need to date, but I am yet to go on a date.

Now I am a bit scared of actually doing it. I thought all those weirdos on dates were urban myths.

#6 AggyW72

Posted 27 May 2014 - 06:38 PM

I went to QLD to spend a weekend with a man I'd met online. He'd already been to Sydney to meet me. He was an ex homicide detective. All seemed ok.
He picked me up at the airport with one of his kids - I knew he had 2 sons but had made it very clear I wasn't prepared to meet with them this early on.
Once child was dropped off at Grandma's, I got the grand tour of Gold Coast murder sights that he had investigated!  Awesome! Then he took me to the casino and gambled all night, then didn't understand why I didn't want him to stay at my hotel. Then came to said hotel early next morning to take me to his kid's Saturday sport! Went right off when I said no. I was a bit scared by now as it was becoming clear he was a little unhinged and that he was looking for a new instant mum!
I told him it wasn't working out and I'd get myself to the airport next morning. But no, he turned up at 5.20am with one child asleep in the backseat!! I got a taxi to the airport...

#7 Crap Napper

Posted 27 May 2014 - 06:38 PM

When I was living in Japan, I went out one night and, whilst rather intoxicated, met a "western" guy. I can't remember why we only spoke in Japanese together, and it was very dark, but I agreed to a date with him the next week.

I turned up to meet him the following week, and discovered that he was a short, round, 45 year old, balding Bolivian guy who spoke not a word of English and thought we could try out a Love Hotel...

Edited by FeralSchnitzel, 27 May 2014 - 06:40 PM.


#8 JustBeige

Posted 27 May 2014 - 06:39 PM

KnightsofNi, on 27 May 2014 - 06:21 PM, said:

I have never dated (I was too young to really date when I got together with XH). I have just decided that I need to date, but I am yet to go on a date.

Now I am a bit scared of actually doing it. I thought all those weirdos on dates were urban myths.
No, but just remember (as my mum always said) make sure you have cab money home.

and

It IS OK to leave if you think they are a frog.  You dont have to stay.  If you dont want to hurt their feelings then claim headache or nausea.

and

Have someone you can call to come and rescue you if necessary.


I did have some awful ones.  I think the worst one was a set up. I was warned he was a bit socially awkward with girls.
He wanted to see a Billy Joel (super keen)  I was happy to go along (mildly keen). He was a bit shy, but I reassured him that we were just friends etc. Thankfully we just met for coffee before hand and I made my own way there.  It wasnt too bad until we hit the concert.

He then proceeded to pretend he was at a death metal concert - did you know you can 'air piano'?  complete with head swinging and jumping around?   He disappeared without a word sometime into the 5th song down onto the floor - really dont know how he managed it as we had nose bleed last minute seats.

I left at the end and made my own way home.  Concert wasnt too bad.

The most hilarious part, he asked his friend to set us up again as he thought I was fantastic. :blink:   :lol:

#9 Mists of Avalon

Posted 27 May 2014 - 06:42 PM

I didn't date much, I met my husband at 20 so I didn't have much time for dating before then. But my one dating disaster was going out with a guy and I thought everything was going fine. He started talking about how he wanted to go overseas and was thinking of leaving really, really soon. Not realising this was code for 'I'm not interested in you at all and I'm looking for a way to explain why I'm never going to phone you' I was all like 'oh travelling I'd love to travel maybe we could even meet up somewhere'. To which he responded 'I think I might be gay' and with that he got up and left. That was pretty awkward.

#10 JustBeige

Posted 27 May 2014 - 06:46 PM

Lol, some of these are funny!

#11 Dionysus

Posted 27 May 2014 - 06:49 PM

Was very drunk at a party and pashed a guy. he went home later, so I pashed his mate.
A week later the first guy asks me out on a date.  During the date he talked about being best man in his friend's wedding the next weekend - the friend I had pashed!

I didn't tell him, wasn't quite sure what to say about his cheating mate!

A few months later I did tell him, then I got the blame for the whole thing. Ha.

Funniest thing, I ended up marrying first pash guy.  He still thinks nobody knows the whole story.  But, my whole family and circle of friends know because I told them all the following weekend after the first date, as a funny date story

LOL

#12 mandala

Posted 27 May 2014 - 06:56 PM

I was thrown up on. I ended up marrying him, so it can't have been all bad! :ninja:

#13 c.sanders

Posted 27 May 2014 - 07:00 PM

i didn't really date much since i met my DH at 17....

but i was set up on a 'date' at the age of 21 when visiting relatives in Asia....

my brother, 2 cousins and a driver was there...he worked as a judge in the military
i didn't even realise it was a date until he started talking about where we could get married and that he could leave the country for 4 weeks for our honeymoon...
i got out of there pretty quick...
but he proceeded to email me for the next few months and when i said no (because i was already married)...he thought my family had poisoned me against him...

#14 Princess Bubblegum

Posted 27 May 2014 - 07:14 PM

Not me, but a good friend.

She had been on a few dates with a guy that she had decided she quite liked. He asked her to come to his house, he was going to make dinner for her (which she said had an unspoken "we're gonna get it on" kinda vibe). She reminded him that she couldn't eat peanuts as she was anaphylactic and he was fine with that. Cue dinner: one bite and she went into anaphylaxis. He later admitted (an ambulance ride later) he had used peanut oil in the cooking to check if she "was just over-acting about the whole peanut thing".

Funnily enough, she went right off him after he tried to kill her.

#15 twinboys

Posted 27 May 2014 - 07:24 PM

Went out on one date with a huge beefcake of a policeman.
He spent the whole date twitching his pecs witch was so off putting.
We get back to my place and I realised that i am locked out of my house as my housemate had latched the security door which I didn't have a key for.

My big policeman volunteered to break in which he did through a small open window in the loungeroom.

My housemate has woken up and come down the hall way to see a guy wriggling though a window and she started screaming.

In the meantime I decided I would try the door again.....It wasn't latched after all.

So no need for the break in , the freaked out housemate and the very embarrassed beefcake cop.
He did call me again but I politely declined another date..LOL

#16 Coffeegirl

Posted 27 May 2014 - 07:35 PM

mandala, on 27 May 2014 - 06:56 PM, said:

I was thrown up on. I ended up marrying him, so it can't have been all bad! :ninja:

I was the one who threw up during the date.  And he still married me :rofl:

Edited by Feralgirl, 27 May 2014 - 07:35 PM.


#17 Shary Bobbins

Posted 27 May 2014 - 07:37 PM

These stories are hilarious!

I wish I had a bad date story!  


The Feral Plum, on 27 May 2014 - 06:09 PM, said:

Had met guy a few times previously. Met at pub for date. He told me off for not knowing the name of the band that were playing, 'borrowed' my $100 note to buy drinks (eftpos was down, but he didn't give me my change - he stayed at the bar, got smashed, and then kissed another woman. Then he suggested that I wanted anal sex with him. It was hypnotically fascinating in its awfulness.


^ This one is awesome!!!

#18 FeralSingleMum

Posted 27 May 2014 - 08:07 PM

I went on a date with a guy I met on the internet - I wasn't sure that we were well matched as he was quite into fitness but decided to look past it and give it a go. Bad, bad move:

- When I didn't finish my meal he told me "That's why I retain weight"

- Told me that I would have to do something about the way I dress. It was a casual lunch date so I chose a summer dress and sandles

- Got upset when I wouldn't come back to see his house and then got upset when I wouldn't go back for a second date.



#19 HGL

Posted 27 May 2014 - 09:32 PM

KnightsofNi, on 27 May 2014 - 06:21 PM, said:

I have never dated (I was too young to really date when I got together with XH). I have just decided that I need to date, but I am yet to go on a date.

Now I am a bit scared of actually doing it. I thought all those weirdos on dates were urban myths.

Oh KnightsofNi I'm sorry if my post has put you off but dating is soo much fun!!! I had so many awesome and fun dates over the years they more than cancelled out the bad. I use to love picking out an outfit, getting dressed up and wondering how it was going to go. Along with the bad dates, I had dates at fancy restaurants and some rockin good sex!!! (And often those 2 types weren't related).

If you haven't dated for awhile, I really recommend speed dating. There is all types of different groups and it's a great opportunity to learn how to make conversation and not real so ackward.

#20 Ellie bean

Posted 27 May 2014 - 09:34 PM

These are great! I don't have one that funny, but I did go on a date with a guy who asked me to the movies. He had a voucher for free popcorn, a buy one get one free voucher for drinks and tickets, and the movie (his choice) was kung fu panda... I was 30 at the time.
I am a fan of vouchers and I actually like cartoon movies but not on a first date!

HGL, on 27 May 2014 - 09:32 PM, said:



Oh KnightsofNi I'm sorry if my post has put you off but dating is soo much fun!!! I had so many awesome and fun dates over the years they more than cancelled out the bad. I use to love picking out an outfit, getting dressed up and wondering how it was going to go. Along with the bad dates, I had dates at fancy restaurants and some rockin good sex!!! (And often those 2 types weren't related).

If you haven't dated for awhile, I really recommend speed dating. There is all types of different groups and it's a great opportunity to learn how to make conversation and not real so ackward.
I agree with this. I met my DH at speed dating :)

#21 HGL

Posted 27 May 2014 - 09:43 PM

JustFeralBeige, on 27 May 2014 - 06:39 PM, said:


No, but just remember (as my mum always said) make sure you have cab money home.

and

It IS OK to leave if you think they are a frog.  You dont have to stay.  If you dont want to hurt their feelings then claim headache or nausea.

Excellent advice. I can't remember the details but I do remember a date that was so bad I entertained excusing myself to use the toilet then escaping through the kitchen. Another bad date all I could think about how I was going to let him down at the end that it gave m a headache.

Not so much a date but a very short relationship that has echoes of the penis beaker thread

#22 StopTheGoats

Posted 27 May 2014 - 09:50 PM

There was the American hyperactive who sent me a picture of himself in a scuba suit, clutching a rubber ducky from inside his bathroom and then was puzzled when I asked for the punchline.

There was the sweet one with the genuinely eye watering BO.

Then there was the one with the expensive wine collection who screamed b**ch whilst foaming at the mouth and banging on my locked car doors when my spidey senses told me to GTFO and I sprinted for the car. He then texted me to apologise and sent me a mixed tape of songs. He wanted to be a DJ.

Edited by StopTheGoats, 27 May 2014 - 09:51 PM.


#23 lynneyours

Posted 27 May 2014 - 11:05 PM

StopTheGoats, on 27 May 2014 - 09:50 PM, said:

Then there was the one with the expensive wine collection who screamed b**ch whilst foaming at the mouth and banging on my locked car doors when my spidey senses told me to GTFO and I sprinted for the car. He then texted me to apologise and sent me a mixed tape of songs. He wanted to be a DJ.

:o  How scary!!  

I really only "dated" one guy - all my other boyfriends were previously friends.
The first date he took me to the movies. To see Clockwork Orange and Clerks.  Clerks was hilarious and luckily on first. After watching the start of Clockwork Orange, I decided to go.  He came too and apologised profusely, he didn't know what it was about.  *trigger warning if you don't know, don't google it*

We dated a few times, until I slept with him, then he dumped me.  lol.  I saw him and his mates in a club (I was very drunk) and decided one of his mates was hot, flirted a  storm, danced, snogged and guess who called the next morning after his friends all told him he was an idiot.  I declined to date either him or his friend ;)

#24 soapy

Posted 27 May 2014 - 11:19 PM

I met DH at 18.. We bumped into at a local pub/night club a few times but the first time we actually arranged to meet he was so drunk that I ended up looking after him outside on the grass of my local pub all night. Apparently he was nervous about meeting up with me and had a few too many for courage. Luckily I like him...a lot.

#25 -Carpe Diem-

Posted 28 May 2014 - 06:45 AM

I once went on a date where the guy spend 30mins talking about his upcoming court case.
He was totally innocent because the guy he assaulted deserved it because he picked the fight in the club.

I couldn't get out of there fast enough, I faked a headache.

I then used to get random drunk messages from him.
I never responded.

The last one I ever got was "Hey, you got any beer?"




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