How do I Overcome Insecurity after a Break-up?
Problem: I'm really insecure about dating. If the father of my child didn't like me enough to stay around, what makes me think a guy who has no biological connection to my child will? --Tia, 34, New York, NY
Solution: "It's so completely understandable that you feel insecure for this reason, but the decision by the father of your child to leave was his, not yours -- and a choice that big cannot boil down to something as simple as 'not liking you enough.' Whatever his reasons were, they were his reasons, his issues, and his problems, not yours. So please, don't let his life choice mirror back that you weren't worth it. You are worth it," says Spencer.
She suggests this trick: Make a list of ten reasons why you would want to date you -- qualities you bring to the table that your friends, family and child appreciate. Maybe you make a mean lasagna, can hold your own on the tennis court, can tell a great joke, or always know what someone wants before they speak. Once you see ten reasons (and if you're on a roll, make it 20!), you'll be on the path to seeing that your ex leaving was his loss, but another great man's gain.