1. I don't care if I'm taller than you. Being a tall girl is the shit. If I have heels on and you find yourself feeling short, remember that you should feel like a badass for being with a tall girl.
2. I love wearing heels so don't get weird when I do.
3. In fact, I get off on being taller than you, even though it might not happen very often. If you feel emasculated and let it show, I'm moving right along to a man who doesn't feel threatened by me.
4. In fact, I'm going to actively try to be taller than you. Especially if you're tall. Because I grew up being the tallest girl in the room and I used to feel awkward about it but now that I'm a grown-ass woman, I embrace it and you should too.
5. Yes, I have dated guys shorter than me. No, I don't make it a habit. And if you're way shorter than me, sorry, but I also have a limit on how short I'll go.
6. It's incredibly easy to find me in a crowd. So if we're at da club and one of us visits the bar, we'll make our way back to each other in no time.
7. People stare at me more. We Talls like to think this is because we're hot, but it's often because we're just really tall and gangly and inherently kind of awkward.
8. My skirt's not short. I just have really long legs. What falls just above the knee on another girl is going to look downright tiny on me but just accept this before we have dinner with your parents because there's nothing I can do about it and I love my skirts.
9. Don't tell me I look taller than I am. If I tell you I'm 5-foot-9, don't then furrow your brow and tell me I "look taller than that" because you just sound like you think I look like a freak.
10. I don't need you or your friends or anyone else to say, "I'm taller than you," when they're not. They can't bear the thought of anyone being taller than them because they're insecure. I don't comment on how they wear basketball jerseys to nice places, so.
11. I don't need your help as much as you think I do. Putting bags in the overhead bins on planes, reaching for stuff, etc. What can I say other than: I woke up like this.
12. It's going to be more awkward than not for you to pick me up in an attempted sweeping, movie-like romantic gesture. I'm tall — that makes me heavier than most petite girls. Plus, my legs are long and don't just lift easily and wrap around your waist like ribbons floating in the breeze.
13. I fit perfectly as your little spoon or big spoon. I go anywhere with no awkward genital/other body part alignment.
14. People will despise us at concerts. If you thought you were annoying solo at concerts, just wait until we go together.
15. We will fight over aisle seats on airplanes. "My ankles need to breathe." "No, MY ANKLES NEED TO BREATHE."
16. Holding hands is never uncomfortable. Because we're close enough in height that we don't have to walk 10 feet apart for it to feel remotely natural.
17. We can kiss more because you're at my level. When we dance cheek to cheek, we're probably actually, well, cheek to cheek.
18. I'll knock my head on low-hanging things before you do. Because when you let me go first, ladies being first and all, I'll test-drive the clearance level for you.
19. No one will take road trips with us if it involves them sitting in the back of our car. Because our seats will be so far back their knees will be at their chins. Unless, quite unlike us, they're ... short.
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