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Dating a musician advice 15 Things You Should Know Before Dating a Musician

Dating a musician advice I'm gonna write you, like, 12 songs that will blow your mind ... but also I'm never around.  15 Things You Should Know Before Dating a Musician 8 things you learn very quickly when you date a musician Dating a musician relationship DONTs Bleader Chicago Reader

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1. People will hit on them after shows and you will usually be there watching it happen. It is important that you do not act like a dick about this and that you are extra-awesome to me after shows. This way, I'll still talk to other people, but mentally I'm like, Thank you for your compliments but my hot boyfriend person is over there with all of the flowers and I love him.

2. You won't always come first in the relationship. Don't get me wrong. I'm super-loyal and eerily dependable, but if I need to rehearse or record or do a photo session in an abandoned saloon somewhere, that's going to be more important than watching The Wire with you. Also because I still haven't seen The Wire and honestly I'm not sure I ever will. Sorry, Dave. 

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3. You might never sleep again. I might get out of a gig at 3 a.m. and swing by your place, we hang out for a few hours, and then you have to be up at 8 a.m. for work. Good-bye, sweet, sweet sleep. 

4. You will live inside of a dive bar. It is your home now. Also your shoes will always be sticky now and I do not have a solution. 

5. They will go on tour and boom — now they are invisible. There might be days when the only time we talk is when I call you at 2 a.m. from a loud, broken-down tour bus because that was the only time I could call. But at least I send you selfies from the road? Eh? Eh?

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6. They sleep on a pile of garbage bags next to a pile of their own vomit. OK, I just need to say in all the caps in the world: This. Is. Not. My. Situation. I sleep on an awesome bed in a great apartment, full of color and life, and have only vomited on my own floor once and that was years ago and I had the flu. However, most of my band mates and musician friends basically live on a stack of pizza boxes, whisky, and Muscle Milk. God bless their girlfriends and their spines.

7. If they are inspired to write something, whatever you're doing has to stop. We might be at a party having a great night together, and then I get a song idea and have to lock myself and my instruments (look, sometimes I do bring them with me, you never know) in the bathroom for a while because it's a very good chord progression. 

8. They'd better be your favorite band. On some level, you have to think that my band is the best band in the world because we are really great, but also because you're with me and you think I'm really great. Are you dating any of the members of Smash Mouth? No? Then they cannot be your favorite band of all time. Also, why is Smash Mouth your favorite band of all the time? What is happening?

9. Get ready to listen to a bunch of songs about their exes. All those songs I played you when we first met couldn't have been about you. It's got to be kind of weird to listen to them, but you're here now and they're not. <3

10. They're also going to write songs about you. Sometimes romantic ones, but also ones about how you did something shitty. I probably won't show you those but if you come to a show, you'll be like, "That sounds new ... And angry ... And I'm pretty sure that's about me." And it iiiiiiis. 

11. Be prepared to hear a lot of passionate, long-winded speeches about bands you've never heard of. Seriously, Sean, I have given you Sleater-Kinney/Missy Elliott/Fiona Apple/Erykah Badu mixes so many times now. Get on my level because I'm never going to stop talking about these people.

12. They're going to show you what they're working on and you'd better know what to say when they do. Even if it's not about you, it's still something I want you, of all people, to love. If you're just going to say, "It sounds cool," you might as well just punch me in the face. 

13. There might be times when they don't want to see you at all because they're having too many ~*FeELiNgS*~. Musicians have a lot of feelings. Maybe they're mostly sad or mostly anxious or mostly alienated or introspective. Who knows. Either way, you're gonna have to ride that intense emotional wave. Which honestly, is pretty awesome most of the time. 

14. Your social life now = their gigs. You are like mayor of groupies now. It is a coveted position. Cherish it. Also, please work my merch table because Gary canceled tonight. 

15. If you're amazing to them, your whole relationship turns gets immortalized in multi-platinum records. Or at very least, a series of Starbucks CDs, which is also very prestigious. 

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